When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you’re gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you’re gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you’re gone
All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

I’ve never felt this way before
Everything that I do
Reminds me of you
And the clothes you left
they lie on my floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take

Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you’re gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you’re gone
The face I came to know is missing too
And when you’re gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were
Yeah Yeah

All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe, I need to feel you here with me
Yeah

When you’re gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you’re gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you’re gone
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you….

so much wanted to talk to you..sms you… wanted to hear ur voice.. wanted us to be happy again… stay in happiness again…
but i have to stop myself… i dun wanna force you although the temptation is high….
each time i feel like calling or sms you.. it feels like a bullet shoot into my heart… shattered into pieces..

before we are happy lovers.. now we are strangers to one another…

how much it hurts me .. u dun noe…

i miss you very much… if only u noe.. if only u read this..

i still love you..

i really do..

so much of tears i’ve cried.. i cant able to hide my feelings anymore..it kills me everytime i think of u…

i dont know whther you feel the same way.. if only u were here to see how crappy i look now….

every nite i cry myself to sleep..
thinking why does this happened to me..
why cant the moment past.. and learn from mistakes i’ve made..
every rship has its ups and downs..
its so suffering that i just wish to end the agony that’s haunting me every nite….
thinking about the past..
everywhere, anywhere, everywhere i go… there’s alwiz memories between and you………………….
crying myself in the room.. all alone.. nobody to speak to.. nobody know my feelings..
except for my mom..consoled me.. sayang me…sayang is all i needed rite now..

i wanna turn a new leaf..
i desperately wanna change …
i dun wanna rush into things anymore..
i dun wanna control u anymore..
i dun wanna force you to do things which you dun like anymore..
i dun wanna easily get jealous anymore..
i dun wanna easily feel insecure anymore..
all the bad behaviours you’ve said to me i really want to change..
i’m willing and i want.
but u have to understand.. it’s not easy for me to suddenly change from bad to good..
it takes time.. all it needs is a little more patience with me… stay with me… understand me.. then i would learn…

its all seems meaningless to you rite now.
.everything that i’ve said to you doesnt make sense anymore.. …. it hurts.. honey…………………..how could you do this to me…i know deep down.. you still love me..you say things just to hurt my feelings.. but u dont mean it… u dont mean it….. no you dont……i know you dont…

you wouldnt careless when im pouring my heart out to you..
the way you reply me with short answers..
not answering my calls..
did you ever put urself in my position if i replied to you like this.. ? uh honey..?..

this is the lowest point of my life………
i never felt this way before…………..
i feel very sad…………… i cant type anymore….

I just hope everything to be just as before..
I know im asking you too many times..
begging you..
pleaded you u take me back..
im willing to change my bad behaviour
im always thinking on the positive side..
but the thought of you leaving me i cant seem to take it
we’ve been thru alot honey..
a lot…. way too much..
we just cant let go of each other..
it hurts… hurt so much..
the pain is unbearable and i cant take it.. please forgive me…
please give me one last chance to prove it to you..
please love me back..
i know deep down you still love me..
you dont mean whatever you say..
you say is just to hurt me.. to stop me from loving you..
i know you feel the pain inside..
let’s just gv us another one last chance..

we had so much together honey… just dont think of the bad memories that only will hurt us.. will hurt you..

i screwed our rship big time…BIG TIME…
i kept blaming myself.. kept blaming and blaming..
until i lost my sense of direction…
until i think of you all the time..
the tears that i shed it’s all worth while..
though i always hide it and put a fake smile..
deep down.. im crushed…
crushed with the feeling i’ve failed in relatioship..
everynite i cried myself to sleep..
reminiscing of the past .. whatever things that we did together..
nobody knows.. nobody knew the pain… the feeling inside of me..
i never want ppl to know.. but they knew i was hurting..
i want to tell the truth to ppl.. that i am a bad girlfriend..
i mean it honey.. every word i said.. the tears seems to be rolling down my cheek now..
every mogning i tried to hide with the swelling at the bottom of my eyes..

you are a great boyfriend to me..
you treat me right.. you always pampered me..
sayang me.. buy me things like mp3.. take care of me.. bring me go gai gai..
treat me good food..introduce me to ur frens.. send me good mails.. give me good songs to listen.. wipe the tears of my eyes.. ask me to silent down.. not cry too much.. hug me.. kiss me.. pat my head.. sayang me.. honey..
i take things for granted now.. i knoe and im really really reallly reallly sorry..
i meant it from the bottom of my heart every single word i’ve said….
please hear me out..
i love you..

i love you..

i love you honey….

feel me honey.. feel the things im trying to tell you…
dont feel numb towards me please…….

think positive honey..
think of us..
think of the time we’ve been together..
think of us having late supper in McD..
think of us in Danga Bay..
think of us walking happily and holding hands in Jonker..
think of the things we did together..
think of the stupid little promises we both made to each other before..
think of the time we had together when we held in each other arms.. telling each other how much we loved each other..
think of the time we celebrate New Year in McD.. u smsed me.. u wished me and that was very sweet..
think of the words you said to me..
think of the first day we met..
think of the time we play bowling…. the past time we had…
the nite we were in Genting.. the place we first met……………..the early morning we had our morning walks…… only the both of us….. the beautiful scenery of sun rise we both witnesses with our own eyes…………we hugged… we made promises….. to be together……forever……. Kang and Kate……….

Can’t imagine I’m answering my final foundation papers in two weeks time!
Final in two weeks time wei!!!!
That’s like so…………………………………………motherfreaking fast ler………………….I’m soooooooooooooo not ready yet……………………………………………………………………….
In a blink of an eye, It feels like I had just started my sem and now i have to freaking answer all the paper. What the hell.
Honestly, this sem i feel damn bloody malas. Everything even to the bits like do assignment I can take my own bloody sweet time to drag it as long as i could until to the last minute then only i’d start to regret of the time wasted instead of doing the ass. The feeling of damn bersalah would suddenly emerged of the the little ‘crime’ i did. ahhaha

So what i did?????
zZzZzZZZZZZZzzzzZZZzzZzZZzZZzzzzzzzz…………………………..
the weather wei…. is killing me!!!!!!!!!! kill the weather!!!!! hahaha. how often u can have nice weather everyday where u can hibernate all day long without worrying anything and putting assignment at the back of ur head??…Ok. Don’t argue. Don’t feel the urge of doing that’s all. TOld u! im pure malas this sem! Ahh… just aiming for pass pass pass… To hell with foundation la. U see la! This kinda attitude i have !
O.o..
Oh Noooooooooooo.. Cannot cannot.
Must really sit down in library and get my ass moving else i’ll regret man!

Anyway, Honey to the bee is sitting for his final paper today.
Pressure , pressure certainly can feel the pressure .. He has heaps of info to memorize and i think at one point the facts seems to be saturated in his full-loaded brain.
Very pity him.
I hope he’ll do well like he always do coz I know he’s capable of anything like he had proven to me in the previous sem. ALWAYS complaning and more complains from him but when the results is out it ALWAYS stoned me in the end! ALWAYS lorh!!! Hehe. Support honey all the way ok.
Remember my advise honey.

muakss

I must have been the ‘hot’ item to view at that I have at least an average of 3 ppl asking me in a week where the hell is my friendster gone to, huh!?! Eversince day one i deleted it.

o.O 

Hehe. Quite flattering to know that my friends are quite observant eh. HAhah. *perasan*

Sorry la to not making it official to inform u guys that i’ve deleted my Friendster edy. FYI, I switched to Facebook. Must keep up with the trend ma. Hehe.

If im not mistaken I did mentioned it in previous post right? Did i?

Umm..

This morning my lecturer assigned us with another task. Yet another english assignment is filling up the pile. A drama we have to act.
We are required to create our own dialogues and be as much creative as posibble with the props we are going to use. Again im feeling a little stress. but shouldnt be that difficult kua unlike the academic essay everything has to be PERFECT. Duh~

For english midterm i sucked so badly. I feel the test is a little challenging for me particularly when it tested my grammar. Im really weak at it, i admit. OMG can die.com
Ok enough of whining.

So yea, it’s been almost a week since my birthday past. I didnt quite celebrate it as i didnt feel like celebrating it. My mum did ask whther to hold any party. But i rejected her idea by saying “no”. In my opinion i feel it’s pointless to throw a party where the purpose is mainly to receive prezzie. Somehow, it reaches the point where prezzie arent that important anymore and what matters is the quality time spent with my loved ones and not forgetting hanging out with friends. It’s all i wanted and wished for. Nothing more:)

At that nite, my parents treated me dinner and we went for ikan bakar. While i was eating i received calls from my frens saying they wanted to play bowling. So without any hesitation to reject,i straight said ‘yes’. And i dont feel like staying at home also especially when it is my special day where i get special treatment from everybody :). Not that i hope for prezzie la! it’s the company that matters ok. Bowling now is our usual nite routine activity. Finally, i found kakis to hang out and to bowl.

Before we actually went for bowling, they said they wanted to stop for sate celup as some of my frens havent eaten their dinner yet. So we settled for sate celup first before heading for bowling. We ate , ate , ate and had a nice chat laughing crazily on the inside joke. Oh well, typical us :).
Everything was normal then when mygalfren who went to the toilet SUDDENLY appeared holding.a.cake.on.her.hand.

o.O

I was like…. HUHHHH!!!!!!!

I totally blacked out! Dont know whether to feel happy or to shed a few tears as it was really touching okay!.. coz i really didnt expect them to celebrate neither did i asked them to do so. I was utterly speechless. It then later hit me that It was actually a SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAhahha.+_=
i was so slow.. i know..that is coz i was too shocked by the whole process ok! Tibe tibe jeee… hehehe

But I was so touched that I felt like hugging all of them at one go. It was the first time did my frens ever gave me such a lovely surprise without me knowing. It was so sweet to know that they care and was thoughtful enough to pull my day as a special one. And it’s nice to know that they actually did that to make u feel happie :). And indeed i was very happie till i couldnt sleep :). It was a great nite we had. And not forgetting i played very very well in bowling too. ahaha :). that added as a bonus.

Me and my chocolate flavored birthday cake.

Me and Wan Ning

Thanx very much to HonChin, Eng Heng, Zhi Qun and Wan Ning for making my 21st birthday as the most memorable ones :). Muaks. Love u guys. We have more bowlings to go ok.. hehehe

Here’s the video taken by Wan Ning :

Not forgetting for all the sms wishes i received. Thanx very much in abundance guys:). Each sms i received it puts a smile on my face :). hehe. Sweet.

To my korkors and jiejie and jie fu, thank u for the generous cash esp my elder bro n my parents. I can keep it in the bank for future use. and jiejie n jiefu thank u for all the gifts that i think what i received its actually more than i dont actually deserve, coz it’s way too much of prezzie u both showered me,and not forgetting the ‘crappy’ birthday card. hahaha. and also to my youngest korkor for giving me the gold key to my freedom :). And lastly to my second korkor for wishing me;)

To my dear honey, i know you cant be here although i wanted you to be here badly to celebrate my wonderful day with me. I truly understand you cant make it after all ur hardwork on the projects , upcoming exams and all. And sorry for “screaming” at you as i feel shuang after yelling. Heehe. It’s the frustration that i cant let go to anybody but to u who matter most to me. Hehehe. Too bad. U made a promise to come for the next visit and im so looking forward to it as it is in 2 more weeks :).

Thanx agains peeps. Muakssss!!!!!

Waking up I see that everything is ok
The first time in my life and now it’s so great
Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed
I think about the little things that make life great

I wouldn’t change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

[Chorus]
This innocence is brilliance
I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect
Please don’t go away
I need you now
And I’ll hold on to it
Don’t you let it pass you by

I found a place so safe, not a single tear
The first time in my life and now it’s so clear
Feel calm, I belong, I’m so happy here
It’s so strong and now I let myself be sincere

I wouldn’t change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

[Chorus]

It’s a state of bliss, you think you’re dreaming
It’s the happiness inside that you’re feeling
It’s so beautiful it makes you wanna cry
It’s a state of bliss, you think you’re dreaming
It’s the happiness inside that you’re feeling
It’s so beautiful it makes you wanna cry

It’s so beautiful it makes you wanna cry
This innocence is brilliance
Makes you wanna cry
This innocence is brilliance
Please don’t go away
Cus I need you now
And I’ll hold on to it
Don’t you let it pass you by

[Chorus]

Honey + Pile of assignments = Honey having period (*only during his semester. Holidays are pretty much period-free-day-can-manje with him*)
Another killin’ project for him to accomplish. I guess, at this period of time he needs more positive motivations and emotional supports coming from me. I must be good girl :). Cannot add more stress as it will burden him. Hehe. Bliekk.

This semester marked the end of my foundation year.
Can’t believe how fast the time flies.
Before I was crawling, but now I’m learning to take a few steps. There were times where I fall, but I managed to crawl up again.
I’m very much contented with the sluggish pace I am in, although I’ve seen others achieved their goals is something I envied most.
Seeing others who is ahead of me sets motivation for me to strive harder and believe in the dreams I once have.
Self-motivation is ultimately essential for one to achieve goals for themselves and not for others.

Therefore I chose BUSINESS MARKETING as my ultimate choice of path.

I hope I chose the correct path that leads me to the successful land.
No turning back coz i’ve already ‘click’ on the ‘confirm’ button.
So be it.

Singapore , wait for me, I will contribute my strength and energy for the country in 3 years starting from NOW. Hahaha.

Sayang honey